You probably won't laugh at this. Joke older than God's dog

Dave · Post by **Dave** » Wed Sep 28, 2011 11:02 pm

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor, she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out.

Then one Christmas day morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bath room. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood-stained underpants with a look of horror on his face.

She bit her lip as she asked him what the matter was. He said, 'honey you were right.' 'All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you'. 'What do you mean?' asked his wife. 'Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of god, some Vaseline and two fingers. I think I got most of them back in.

Cheers
Dave

Vard66 · Post by **Vard66** » Thu Sep 29, 2011 3:40 am

I did not laugh.

Your move, Dave.

radddogg · Post by **radddogg** » Thu Sep 29, 2011 8:34 am

Meneither, especially as its a repost...

volf · Post by **volf** » Thu Sep 29, 2011 9:00 am

Vard66 wrote:I did not laugh.

Your move, Dave.

+1

Sorry mate, but it did rise a smirk

listie · Post by **listie** » Thu Sep 29, 2011 11:37 am

Good to see old jokes never die !

mike88 · Post by **mike88** » Thu Sep 29, 2011 11:57 am

Vard66 wrote:I did not laugh.

Your move, Dave.

+1

maestrovdpt16 · Post by **maestrovdpt16** » Thu Sep 29, 2011 12:14 pm

Although some should be put down, the above being in that set.

listie wrote:Good to see old jokes never die !

Phoenix3dfx225 · Post by **Phoenix3dfx225** » Thu Sep 29, 2011 12:22 pm

I enjoyed it, I'm only 26 so might not have been around the first few times its been around as suggested. :p

pjm_morris · Post by **pjm_morris** » Thu Sep 29, 2011 7:33 pm

The thread title needs to be altered

vinny19791 · Post by **vinny19791** » Thu Sep 29, 2011 7:40 pm

awful.

not a smirk here either

Post by **Din** » Thu Sep 29, 2011 7:41 pm

pjm_morris wrote:The thread title needs to be altered

Dave · Post by **Dave** » Thu Sep 29, 2011 8:32 pm

Barstewards, the lot of ya!!!!!

At least I found it funny!!!

Cheers
Dave

zrchris · Post by **zrchris** » Thu Sep 29, 2011 9:21 pm

love it me and the mrs found it amusing. nice 1

pjm_morris · Post by **pjm_morris** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 7:34 pm

Din wrote:
pjm_morris wrote:The thread title needs to be altered

Still wrong

Post by **Din** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 7:39 pm

pjm_morris wrote:
Din wrote:
pjm_morris wrote:The thread title needs to be altered

Still wrong

Well you cant bloody well please everyone can you

Dave · Post by **Dave** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 7:42 pm

Din wrote:
pjm_morris wrote:
Din wrote:
pjm_morris wrote:The thread title needs to be altered

Still wrong
Well you cant bloody well please everyone can you

You please me all the time, babe

Cheers
Dave

Post by **Din** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 7:44 pm

Dave wrote:
You please me all the time, babe

Dave

SSSHHHHH.... people will talk...

Dave · Post by **Dave** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 7:52 pm

Din wrote:
Dave wrote:
You please me all the time, babe

Dave
SSSHHHHH.... people will talk...

Someone will make a thread about it soon enough!!!!

Cheers
Dave

Post by **Din** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 7:53 pm

Dave wrote:
Din wrote:
Dave wrote:
You please me all the time, babe

Dave
SSSHHHHH.... people will talk...
Someone will make a thread about it soon enough!!!!

Cheers
Dave

Yep.......... and then i shall

it

*ASHY* · Post by ***ASHY*** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 8:15 pm

Mangaged a litte chortle, but was laughing my beers off by the time I read all the posts. You miserable buggers...

BlueRover · Post by **BlueRover** » Sun Oct 02, 2011 10:38 am

Ok, I was going to embed this image but I thought it better not to.
It IS gross but perhaps worth it. Be WARNED if you have a sensitive tummy. Seriously, it's nasty.

http://video1.break.com/dnet/media/2008 ... 70F3B8ED97

tonyrally · Post by **tonyrally** » Sun Oct 02, 2011 11:31 am

mate that is hanging......anybody wana lick that? lol :sorry:

radddogg · Post by **radddogg** » Sat Oct 08, 2011 9:59 pm

tonyrally wrote:mate that is hanging......anybody wana lick that? lol

404 fail

Rovertech 2.0

You probably won't laugh at this. Joke older than God's dog

You probably won't laugh at this. Joke older than God's dog

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Re: You probably won't laugh at this. Joke older than God's

Re: You probably won't laugh at this. Joke older than God's