Allow me to set the scene gents.
Going round Watford ring road in JamesWhitburn's new ZR diesel. We come across a pair of racers, one in an Audi A3, and the other in an M reg 220Gsi with a mad twin exit exhaust (one on each side, pointing sideways, Jappy style)
James hooons it past them, and they turn off. We gotta find them! So he turns off, drives round the block and finds them parked up next to a well known mod garage.
I pursuade him to stop so we can have a chat about the cars, and we pull over. I find the owner of the GSi (it's a NASP) and get chatting a bit.
He's running 200bhp, most of the power comes from the Powerflow exhaust which set him back £750.
According to him, it wasn't modified but has a K&N, *that* exhaust and was obviously lowered.
He was running OE rims, because "I was doing 130 on the motorway and had a blowout, so I'm back on me standard wheels". He said he was getting a new set for it so I thought I'd test him, "ohh are the new one's 18's?" ... "nah, I've gone for 19's" ... erm ok then.
Dunno about anyone else but I get so annoyed at dickheads like this.
Met a muppet tonight
Moderator: Forum Moderators
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Leo
- Return of the K777
- Posts: 6650
- Joined: Mon Apr 28, 2003 9:21 pm
- feedback: 1118482
- Location: Amsterdam, Netherlands
Met a muppet tonight
91 Citroen BX GTi 8v - bought March 13
95 Ford Mondeo 1.8i Ghia - March 11 - March 13 - scrapped
98 620 SLDi - July 08 - March 11
97 420 GSDi - dumped in France
94 420 GSi Turbo, 235bhp. Dec 03 - May 08, still missed
93 214 Si - June 02 - Feb 04
95 Ford Mondeo 1.8i Ghia - March 11 - March 13 - scrapped
98 620 SLDi - July 08 - March 11
97 420 GSDi - dumped in France
94 420 GSi Turbo, 235bhp. Dec 03 - May 08, still missed
93 214 Si - June 02 - Feb 04
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Leo
- Return of the K777
- Posts: 6650
- Joined: Mon Apr 28, 2003 9:21 pm
- feedback: 1118482
- Location: Amsterdam, Netherlands
I couldn't care, he deseves to be told! Just wish I'd been in my car, would have shown him that his definatly doesn't get to 60 in 6.2 secs 
91 Citroen BX GTi 8v - bought March 13
95 Ford Mondeo 1.8i Ghia - March 11 - March 13 - scrapped
98 620 SLDi - July 08 - March 11
97 420 GSDi - dumped in France
94 420 GSi Turbo, 235bhp. Dec 03 - May 08, still missed
93 214 Si - June 02 - Feb 04
95 Ford Mondeo 1.8i Ghia - March 11 - March 13 - scrapped
98 620 SLDi - July 08 - March 11
97 420 GSDi - dumped in France
94 420 GSi Turbo, 235bhp. Dec 03 - May 08, still missed
93 214 Si - June 02 - Feb 04
He was probably saying the first thing that came into his head cos he was scared you were stalking him.... 
Seriously though, most people who like modding cars or are just into cars that I meet seem to live in a dream world. I dont think they mean to be idiots, they just are.
Seriously though, most people who like modding cars or are just into cars that I meet seem to live in a dream world. I dont think they mean to be idiots, they just are.
1999 Honda Accord Type R - 2157cc of VTEC 4dr fun 
2011 Mazda 6 Sport 2.2 Diesel - For the days I want torque and economy
2011 Mazda 6 Sport 2.2 Diesel - For the days I want torque and economy
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GeraintUk
- RT GOD
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will_c
- RT BiKiloPoster
- Posts: 2316
- Joined: Sun Feb 15, 2004 3:52 am
- Location: Shrewsbury (shropshire)
idiot!!
I met an equally stupid guy the other night whos brother had a coupe that was quicker than a turbo! It was a 1.6 lol
I dont like to brag about having a turbo but i couldnt just sit there and listen to that
Must have argued with him for about an hour befor giving up!
I met an equally stupid guy the other night whos brother had a coupe that was quicker than a turbo! It was a 1.6 lol
I dont like to brag about having a turbo but i couldnt just sit there and listen to that
Must have argued with him for about an hour befor giving up!EX 221 Coupe Turbo....Now..
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SubCat001
- Rovertech Moderator
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- Location: Worcerstershire
- Contact:
Got to admit I love BSers. Its always fun to humour their ramblings tehn take them out for a blast in the turbo. They usual return speachless and a whiter shade of pale
Audi B6 S4 Avant
Rover 221 coupe turbo 255.5bhp & 256.1lbs/ft (in the garage)
Rover 214 Mk3 Turbo Conversion (in bits)
Rover 416 GSi (in the garden)
......Arrrrrggghhhhh.........
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asteconn
- Forum Junior
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- Joined: Fri Feb 11, 2005 2:38 am
- Location: Malvern, Worcestershire
- Contact:
(Stolen from another forum - might be off mild interest...)
Guide to Bar Horse Power:
Right, ive noticed a lot of magazines and stuff quoting BHP figrues against cars and thought i should take the time to explain what these are.
Basically the figure they are quoting is the most important factor about the performance of a "phat/wicked ride".
Brake horsepower and Torque are all very well, but the main figure that counts is Bar Horse Power, this is the figure that you tell your mates down the pub.
To calculate this use the following rules:
STARTING POINT
The manufacturers generally handpick an engine that they know is on the right end of tolerances for testing, this means that often its a higher figure than an average new engine actaully makes, ignore this fact and swear blind that your smoking nasty example of a now half ***ked engine makes the figure claimed, round up whenever possible, so 152bhp = 160bhp etc
BOLT ON MODS
Obviously the correct way to get more power from your smoking engine with poor valve seal and rings that are about as tight as freedy mercury's ****, the way to get more power is to ignore those facts (see "starting point") and just bolt tat onto the outside of it.
These mods can include filters/exhaust/dumpvalve etc, or even semi-internal mods like cams, we wont cover things like bearings or rings cause those arent very shiney so you wont want to replace them.
The manufacturers always state the gains that you will get from a mod, often your car wont be listed specifically with a power gain, so just pick the biggest one that is, if a skyline can pick up 22bhp from an exhaust, then so can your saxo, again dont forget the golden "always round up" rule.
The figures should all be added up, and round up again.
ITS A GOOD'UN
You need to add a proportional value based on the "its a good'un" factor of your engine, basically, as this is YOUR engine not anyone elses, its special, so the mods will all make more difference, so multiply the number up a bit to take this into account.
STICKERS / SPOILERS
Race cars have them, so you need them too, the key thing here is to NOT buy ones that apply to anything you have fitted, go for stuff that isnt even made for your car, so Greddy/HKS/Blitz is ideal for an XR2i.
Now the thing to remember with modifications to a vehicle is that they work in harmony, it all comes together as a package, exhaust will compliment head mods, filter will work well with a decat or whatever, now stickers are about attitude, and attitude is what counts out there on the street (or halfords car park).
Take the % of your car covered by stickers and spoilers and add that onto your BHP figure as an attitude adjustment (dont forget to round up!!)
WORKED EXAMPLE:
Fiesta XR2
quoted figure (use a guess if you cant find the manufacturers), 94bhp
filter (using the figure for a porche 911) - 11bhp
Exhaust (using figure for a skyline) - 22bhp
decat (never had one so you get this without doin anything, PHAT!) - 12bhp
sticker coverage = 47%
spoiler coverage = 12%
Its a good'un factor = 25%
We'll do the rounding first:
So the calcs are:
94 round up = 100
filter round up = 20
exahust round up = 30
decat round up = 20
sticker round up = 50%
spoiler round up = 20%
good'un round up = 30%
So 100 + 20 + 30 + 20 = 170
plus stickers 50% = 255
add spoiler factor 20% = 306
add good'un factor = 397.8
Final round up = 400bhp
This however is only your basic Bar Horse Power figure, make sure when you quote it you increase it inversely to the age of the girl you have with you at the time, and in direct proportion to the number of pints you have consumed.
Hope that helps if any of you are getting your "phat modded chariot" featured soon.
Guide to Bar Horse Power:
Right, ive noticed a lot of magazines and stuff quoting BHP figrues against cars and thought i should take the time to explain what these are.
Basically the figure they are quoting is the most important factor about the performance of a "phat/wicked ride".
Brake horsepower and Torque are all very well, but the main figure that counts is Bar Horse Power, this is the figure that you tell your mates down the pub.
To calculate this use the following rules:
STARTING POINT
The manufacturers generally handpick an engine that they know is on the right end of tolerances for testing, this means that often its a higher figure than an average new engine actaully makes, ignore this fact and swear blind that your smoking nasty example of a now half ***ked engine makes the figure claimed, round up whenever possible, so 152bhp = 160bhp etc
BOLT ON MODS
Obviously the correct way to get more power from your smoking engine with poor valve seal and rings that are about as tight as freedy mercury's ****, the way to get more power is to ignore those facts (see "starting point") and just bolt tat onto the outside of it.
These mods can include filters/exhaust/dumpvalve etc, or even semi-internal mods like cams, we wont cover things like bearings or rings cause those arent very shiney so you wont want to replace them.
The manufacturers always state the gains that you will get from a mod, often your car wont be listed specifically with a power gain, so just pick the biggest one that is, if a skyline can pick up 22bhp from an exhaust, then so can your saxo, again dont forget the golden "always round up" rule.
The figures should all be added up, and round up again.
ITS A GOOD'UN
You need to add a proportional value based on the "its a good'un" factor of your engine, basically, as this is YOUR engine not anyone elses, its special, so the mods will all make more difference, so multiply the number up a bit to take this into account.
STICKERS / SPOILERS
Race cars have them, so you need them too, the key thing here is to NOT buy ones that apply to anything you have fitted, go for stuff that isnt even made for your car, so Greddy/HKS/Blitz is ideal for an XR2i.
Now the thing to remember with modifications to a vehicle is that they work in harmony, it all comes together as a package, exhaust will compliment head mods, filter will work well with a decat or whatever, now stickers are about attitude, and attitude is what counts out there on the street (or halfords car park).
Take the % of your car covered by stickers and spoilers and add that onto your BHP figure as an attitude adjustment (dont forget to round up!!)
WORKED EXAMPLE:
Fiesta XR2
quoted figure (use a guess if you cant find the manufacturers), 94bhp
filter (using the figure for a porche 911) - 11bhp
Exhaust (using figure for a skyline) - 22bhp
decat (never had one so you get this without doin anything, PHAT!) - 12bhp
sticker coverage = 47%
spoiler coverage = 12%
Its a good'un factor = 25%
We'll do the rounding first:
So the calcs are:
94 round up = 100
filter round up = 20
exahust round up = 30
decat round up = 20
sticker round up = 50%
spoiler round up = 20%
good'un round up = 30%
So 100 + 20 + 30 + 20 = 170
plus stickers 50% = 255
add spoiler factor 20% = 306
add good'un factor = 397.8
Final round up = 400bhp
This however is only your basic Bar Horse Power figure, make sure when you quote it you increase it inversely to the age of the girl you have with you at the time, and in direct proportion to the number of pints you have consumed.
Hope that helps if any of you are getting your "phat modded chariot" featured soon.
I always wanted to meet ..... Gonzo ... looks like you did!
Easy tiger my single point 214 is a monster i tell ya.
Combine the blowing exhaust,cooked at least once lump
, GTI seat and MGF steering wheel and i reckon i'm looking at some serious horsepower.
Never mind looks to die for with my one off paintwork of d0gsh!t brown grandad grey n rust.
Though i was actually in Watford this weekend i don't recall bumping into Leo.
Al
www.myspace.com/ligaturesafe = British thrash metal
416 Tourer - Honda power....Rover rattles..
416 Tourer - Honda power....Rover rattles..
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jameswhitburn
- Rovertech Veteran
- Posts: 597
- Joined: Tue Sep 30, 2003 9:35 pm
- Location: middlesex, london
